A Nerd's Rant

While I was playing video games like normal, I decided to go and fetch a nerd banquet for myself. Opening the bag of Cheetos, the artificial orange tastiness upon sight made my mouth water. I grabbed one and instantly it crunched between my teeth. Heaven. Then I reached over for my Mountain Dew Throwback. When I read the label, "Made with REAL sugar," and I knew, within my heart, that everything will be alright in the world. The sugar was real this time. Twisting the cap, the sound of the pressure and carbonation coming out was like an orchestra to me. I took a sip. Quizzically, I took another. Then I realized something: the aftertaste is how I imagine piss tasting like.

Is this because I am so used to the artificial sugar that they apparently put into the normal Mountain Dews? One thing that is for certain: Mountain Dew Throwback pisses me off because it tastes like piss. Avoid, fellow nerds. Avoid.